‘A Wish Unfulfilled’ book 

My name is Marijke Linssen, fertility coach. When you have a wish for a child and are faced with fertility issues, this will have a profound impact on your life. An unfulfilled wish for children affects you as a person, your relationship, family ties, friendships and work. Well, that is your whole life. 

These are the five pillars that are the basis of your life. When one of the pillars are starting to wobble, you can handle it, but when more pillars start to totter or even break, then it feels like your whole life is not very steady and may fall apart! When you make sure that your pillars are stable, then you go through fertility treatment in the best possible way.

Coach guidebook

That is why I wrote the book ‘A Wish Unfulfilled’, guidebook for couples during fertility treatment. Reading this book I guide you during your fertility process and make sure that your five pillars will stand strong. 

Impact on yourself

When we take the pillar, impact on yourself in this article. Your treatment process has an impact on yourself, including your physical, mental and emotional parts. The physical part is not the hard part. It will never be something you will enjoy, but most of you can handle this. But the most difficult part is the emotional tug of war. You have to get yourself together and stand up again after bad news, to stay positive after another disappointment. To stay a nice person for yourself and your environment in times of stress and sadness. It takes a lot of power and courage. 

Expressing your feelings

I am for expressing your feelings. When you are sad, angry of frustrated, let it go, give in. Suppressing emotions is bad for your body and mind. An unfulfilled wish for pregnancy and a fertility treatment have impact. Something that is an intense wish and is not fulfilled yet, brings feelings of insecurity, these feelings can be projected on yourself. There are patients who say ‘I feel like I failed as a woman. My whole body is built to become pregnant, but my body is not doing what it is supposed to do. It is not working.’ I hear men say: ‘I feel less of a man, I can’t even get my wife pregnant’. These confessions show that fertility problems can have a huge impact on self-image. 

Impact on self-image when unable to get pregnant

It is very important when you have these feelings that you discuss them with your partner, or when you are single with someone close to you.
Once I talked to a couple and the woman said: ‘I feel like I failed as a woman, I am a broken woman’. Her husband was in shock after this confession. But after the shock, he could say to his wife; ‘But I don’t see you like this at all.’ And he could tell her, how he sees her. This conversation made it possible that she could see herself in another light. Make sure you communicate with each other about difficult subjects. Especially about difficult subjects! When your partner knows what your struggle is, he or she can help you during difficult times. 

Do you want to find out more about communicating about difficult subjects during fertility treatment please read my book or visit my website The Life Composer, I will give you the tools.